motherhoodunfilteredxo

Hi.

Sorry I’ve been a little MIA.

Not because I disappeared into a wellness retreat or found inner peace—but because I’ve been deep in motherhood burnout, the kind that winter makes worse and caffeine can’t fix.

When you add motherhood to ambition, school, health concerns, and the everyday logistics of keeping small humans alive, life starts to feel like a group project where you’re doing all the work and still being asked for more.

Here’s what my current season looks like:

I’m building a business from the ground up.

I’m juggling dance classes and sports schedules.

I’m an active member of my kids’ elementary school council—to stay involved, informed, and to make sure my son isn’t using his newly discovered potty mouth at school, and that my sweet, innocent daughter isn’t being bullied by kids telling her to spell “Lana” backwards. (I hate kids’ jokes.)

I’m maintaining a 4.0 GPA in college, nominated for multiple awards, inducted into two honor societies, and somehow labeled an “influential woman,” which still makes me laugh out loud because… no way.

And I’m running a household that becomes messy again approximately 12 seconds after I clean it.

That’s just the baseline.

Because motherhood doesn’t just give you responsibilities—it gives you plot twists.

Recently, my son’s preschool teacher and the school nurse gently let us know that he can’t see very well. Which is how we learned that an eye doctor is officially in our path.

So yes, we’re preparing to spend about $400 on toddler glasses, knowing full well I will soon watch him destroy them while pretending to be Spider-Man.

Vision is essential.

Acceptance is survival.

Then there’s my daughter; my little cardiac warrior—who continues to keep life interesting. She’s now been diagnosed with hypermobility by orthopedics and asthma by pulmonology.

Next stop: a genetic specialist, because apparently our family hobby is collecting referrals.

Some people collect stamps.

I collect doctors.

Somewhere between appointments and calendar Tetris, I’m fairly sure my husband has started hiding in the bathroom longer than necessary. Not because nature is calling—but because he’s afraid of me and my never-ending supply of Clorox wipes.

And honestly, I get it.

If you know the Onesty household, being sick used to be our personality. So this year, I snapped. I became a cleaning machine.

The plagues haven’t been as bad.

Coincidence? I think not.

So yes—yay Clorox!

And yay me, flying through the house on a Swiffer mop like a possessed witch, determined to keep the germs away and my sanity barely intact.

And all of this is happening while I’m trying to be present, patient, productive, and emotionally regulated;which is ambitious, really.

Here’s the truth we don’t say often enough:

You can love your children deeply and still feel completely exhausted.

You can be grateful and burned out at the same time.

You can be doing everything “right” and still feel like you’re barely holding it together.

Motherhood today feels like carrying seventeen invisible tabs open in your brain, all playing different music, while someone asks what’s for dinner.

So yes—sometimes I want to run away to the Bahamas.

Sometimes I want to scream into a pillow.

Sometimes I just want five uninterrupted minutes where no one needs a snack, a ride, a signature, or a specialist referral.

And if that sounds unhinged—good.

Because this season of motherhood is.

But I’m not going anywhere.

Motherhood Unfiltered is back.

More honesty. More chaos. More truth.

Because if we’re all silently drowning, maybe the bravest thing we can do is say it out loud; and remind each other that we’re not failing.

We’re just tired.